i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
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I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
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I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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