Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
