Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
