Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
