All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
