Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
