I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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