Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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