So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
