kristin has been a bad kristin
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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