Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
