Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
