Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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