I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
