Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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