She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
