found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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