why didn't you poke me back
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I will be naked everywhere
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
