Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
