i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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