i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
