I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
