i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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