Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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