Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.

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  (808): It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex. http://tfl.nu/n6q7
  Replies (29) Good night (649) Bad night (4392)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.

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  (814): you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them. http://tfl.nu/uohp
  Replies (20) Good night (1280) Bad night (8605)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.

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  (231): Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life. http://tfl.nu/gt3a
  Replies (25) Good night (4073) Bad night (856)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.

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  (612): no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship. http://tfl.nu/tdmr
  Replies (37) Good night (7719) Bad night (1309)
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  (530): View more from California

  before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake

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  (530): before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake http://tfl.nu/dlo4
  Replies (15) Good night (2213) Bad night (5070)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."

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  (978): as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..." http://tfl.nu/w3wh
  Replies (17) Good night (6019) Bad night (1532)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...

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  (970): I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house... http://tfl.nu/qa28
  Replies (4) Good night (3513) Bad night (1845)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited

  (951): View more from California

  dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles

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  (951): omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited (951): dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles http://tfl.nu/4z6p
  Replies (7) Good night (1523) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.

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  (214): Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed. http://tfl.nu/czkr
  Replies (8) Good night (670) Bad night (1451)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.

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  (740): I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state. http://tfl.nu/rhx6
  Replies (6) Good night (1544) Bad night (518)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.

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  (904): Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/2f4k
  Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed

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  (254): I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed http://tfl.nu/euid
  Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry

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  (317): Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry http://tfl.nu/y5n9
  Replies (7) Good night (895) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet

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  (856): We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet http://tfl.nu/nuyk
  Replies (5) Good night (724) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.

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  (309): There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/encj
  Replies (6) Good night (894) Bad night (382)

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