Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  that makes sense.

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  (850): the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you... (1-850): that makes sense. http://tfl.nu/5jmk
  Replies (16) Good night (7428) Bad night (897)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.

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  (660): And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this. http://tfl.nu/if6q
  Replies (3) Good night (3165) Bad night (773)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  no. you can't hotbox the world.

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  (973): no. you can't hotbox the world. http://tfl.nu/5as3
  Replies (54) Good night (5508) Bad night (990)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place

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  (701): entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place http://tfl.nu/zqzf
  Replies (8) Good night (6387) Bad night (1583)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar

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  (508): Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar http://tfl.nu/vekl
  Replies (13) Good night (4157) Bad night (1136)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back

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  (205): Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back http://tfl.nu/8qqz
  Replies (4) Good night (984) Bad night (2754)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.

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  (757): Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete. http://tfl.nu/0fk8
  Replies (4) Good night (2953) Bad night (820)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...

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  (215): The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on (267): It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID... http://tfl.nu/2nuu
  Replies (9) Good night (3308) Bad night (816)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"

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  (520): I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito" http://tfl.nu/vbc5
  Replies (8) Good night (1129) Bad night (650)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I've literally never felt worse

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My body feels like its decomposing

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  (203): I've literally never felt worse (203): My body feels like its decomposing http://tfl.nu/4u06
  Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (1087)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.

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  (210): I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob. http://tfl.nu/g13n
  Replies (7) Good night (1084) Bad night (451)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...

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  (479): I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower... http://tfl.nu/hy7a
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (682)
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  (+57): View more from

  I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.

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  (+57): I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird. http://tfl.nu/r46z
  Replies (6) Good night (888) Bad night (379)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.

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  (770): Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all. http://tfl.nu/kjla
  Replies (0) Good night (350) Bad night (256)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up

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  (617): We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up http://tfl.nu/o2ud
  Replies (1) Good night (711) Bad night (352)

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