Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.

(773): View more from Illinois

Stop texting me, I'm right here.

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(850): View more from Florida

I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(602): View more from Arizona

Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.

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(631): View more from New York

fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic

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(516): View more from New York

History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem

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(545): View more from

I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door

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