Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.