Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome