Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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