the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
