Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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