Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Couch. On fire.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
