Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
