we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
