The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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