Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize