you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
