I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
