I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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