Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
