Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
