Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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