I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize