covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
