when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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