Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
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But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
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I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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