she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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