So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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