we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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