whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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