Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
