I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
