Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
