I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
