So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
