Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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