Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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