My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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