I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
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you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
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I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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