Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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