I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
