**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
