Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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