My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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