Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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