Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
